Tomorrow is the first day of school and for the first time in as long as I can remember, I am not preparing for a day in the classroom. There are no new school supplies, no new clothes to lay out, no lunch to make. There won’t be any tossing and turning in my sleep tonight because of first-day jitters, I won’t strain my voice from explaining so many classroom procedures that even I get tired of hearing myself talk, and there won’t be any of those extra sweet first-day hugs from a brand new batch of kindergarteners. Instead, I will be at home, playing with my daughter, squeezing in a little work from home, and enjoying life outside of the classroom. I made the decision to take a year off from teaching so I can spend more time with my family.
I must admit that it all feels a bit strange. For as long as I can remember, there has always been a first day of school. First as a student, then as a teacher. The end of summer and arrival of fall always meant the same thing – it was time to go back to school. This year things are very different and while it is scary and strange, the future also is also full of promise and possibility. This is a break that my heart and soul have been seeking.
Why did I decide to take a break?
This past year was incredibly difficult to juggle all of the things that I love, despite my very best efforts. I have known for quite some time that the only way I could continue to teach, blog, and have enough time for my family was to gradually cut down on my school commitments. For the past few years I have been working part time and trying everything I could think of to make all the pieces fit together. My principal did a wonderful job of trying to accommodate my schedule and I did anything and everything I could to try and fit all of my passions into what became a very busy schedule.
But becoming a mother really does change everything. This past year I felt my priorities shift and I began to crave calm and simplicity more than anything – in addition to wanting to soak up every possible moment with my daughter while she is still young.
I desperately tried to juggle my hats of mother, teacher, wife, blogger, sister, friend and daughter to the best of my abilities; while also making a point not to sacrifice my own health and well-being. Every day last year, I set my alarm to wake me up at 4am so that I could have time to pray, dress, work on the blogs, and get ready for the day before waking Dessa up and heading out the door to arrive at school by 7:15. It was exhausting, but I somehow made it work.
I’ve never been one to do anything halfway and the problem was that my part-time teaching job started to feel a lot like a full time job. There were countless days that I found myself at school hours past my out-the-door-for-the-day goal of 12:30pm. I struggled to pull myself away for the day knowing that there were still parents and students counting on me and tasks that required my attention.
As school ate up more and more of my time, I was determined not to deprive Dessa or my husband, Rob, of the mother and wife they deserved. So the time that remained in my day was spent enjoying every possible moment with Dessa until she went to bed. Once she was down, Rob and I caught up on our day and watched a quick show together before I hauled my exhausted self off bed around 9:15pm so I could wake up the next day and do it all over again.
It was a lot to juggle and I felt like I was spreading my limited time and energy into too many passions. Something had to give. Last year, Kinder Craze suffered because there just wasn’t enough of me to go around. Sometimes months would go by before I had a chance to write a new blog post or share a photo on Instagram. I was exhausted and at the end of the day and didn’t have the energy to keep up.
Am I leaving school forever? Of course not.
Although I may not be in the classroom every day, I have no intention of disappearing from school and I will still refer to it as “my school.” St. Mary School will always and forever hold a very special place in my heart, even if I’m not there teaching in the traditional sense. My principal refers to my break from teaching as a “sabbatical” and I think that’s the most appropriate term for this season of my life.
I actually spent more time at school this summer than you would expect from a educator taking a break from the classroom. I helped three different teachers redecorate their classrooms for the new school year. I already shared a tour of my school’s Learning Center makeover that featured the new Twinkle Twinkle You’re A STAR collection from Carson-Dellosa and Schoolgirl Style. I also redecorated my mom’s old second grade classroom in a nautical theme (which is the cutest classroom ever and I am so excited to share the transformation with you in a couple of weeks). Lastly, and perhaps the most bittersweet of all, I’ve been working with my good friend Lexy, who is taking over my kindergarten teaching position to completely reimagine her classroom space. It has been a very busy, somewhat crazy, mostly magical summer. I even had the distinct challenge of trying to work at school with my 13-month old daughter in tow on several occasions. (Just as much as I will always view myself as a teacher, she will always and forever be a teacher’s daughter.)
Something amazing happened as I hauled in a mountain of supplies, decor and bins for my classroom projects this summer. Without the stress of a new school year and the return of a crazy schedule that left my head spinning, I was able to focus on the classroom environment and just enjoy my work. It was like a breath of fresh air. The joy of my work returned and I had an extra spring in my step as I rediscovered a passion I had put on pause for far too long.
I’m not quite sure what this next year has in store for me or my family and I’ve been asked about my future as a teacher more often than I can count. My plan is to see how this year goes and see where God leads me. I may find after one year that I miss the classroom more than anything and I want to try juggling all of my roles once again. I may wait until my daughter is in school to return to the classroom. Or perhaps this year will open up new opportunities to share my knowledge and expertise with more teachers than ever before – in a different kind of learning space. I truly don’t know what the future holds – I’m just following my heart and trusting that this is the best choice for right now.
So what happens now?
Well, I have big plans to celebrate the first day of school by taking my daughter for a walk to our local library. I’m also excited to share my remaining classroom transformation projects in the blog in the coming weeks and if all goes well, I will finally be able to share some amazing content and ideas that I photographed over the past few years but could never quite find the time to share with you on Kinder Craze. (So, so many great ideas.)
But I don’t want to get too ahead of myself.
First off, this teacher-mama desperately needs a vacation. It has been nearly two years since our family treated ourselves to a proper getaway. The three of us are heading up to Mackinac Island in a few weeks for two glorious nights away from all of the hustle and bustle of our busy lives. We intend to ride bikes, hike, play on the lawn, take in the scenery and just enjoy ourselves.
I’m not going anywhere.
I am so incredibly thankful for each and every one of you that have been following my journey for the past six years. I may be stepping out of the classroom, but I have no intention of going anywhere. You can continue to follow along with my latest projects by following Kinder Craze on Facebook and Instagram. And if you want to see more of my life at home, read all about life with Dessa, find out how we live on a budget, you can follow all of the Gavin family happenings our lifestyle blog, Crazy Together.
I’m wishing all of you an incredible school year that is filled with every bit of joy that you and your students deserve. If you need me, I’ll be over here with this crazy girl, hoping to answer your questions, emails and comments much more quickly.
37 Responses
I was inspired by your classroom decor and started following you on Instagram. I have read some of your blogs. I happy for you to be able to spend time with your family and precious daughter. You can never get back time with your children. I’m so happy that you are taking time to be with your family. It is so important!!!! I never regret my decision to stay home full time after my second daughter was born. Lives are too busy now and I wish people could slow down and enjoy life and their children more. I am blessed with my two daughters who are now 24 and 20. I’m now in the empty nester stage and working full time as an instructional assistant. Congratulations on your decision and I wish you the best!
Thank you so much, Karen. You are absolutely right about not getting that time back. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to slow down and just ENJOY my time with her for a while. I hope you have a wonderful school year!
This is a decision you will never regret. My years at home with my children were the best years of my life…relax and enjoy being Mommy of that sweet little one. Jill
Thank you, Jill. I can’t tell you how many people have expressed those exact same sentiments to me over the past few days. I am so happy to have the extra time with Dessa and share her adventures, rather than just hearing about them at the end of the day.
I am doing the same this year after tracking Kindergarten for 9 years! I felt like I wasn’t doing my best at school or at home. It is very strange not being at school during this back to school season but I know it’s best for my family too!
It certainly is strange, but it’s so nice to be free of the stress and guilt! I hope you have a wonderful year at home with your family!
I really needed this post today. I resigned from my teaching position earlier this summer for mostly all the same reasons you mentioned. My part time job was feeling like full time and my family was suffering for it, but I felt guilty leaving the school, too. It’s nice to see that I’m not alone in this type of decision, and that it’s ok to focus on myself and my family. My daughter is going into fifth grade so the first day of school will be sending her off properly (for the first time ever) and then going for a massage. I’ve been meaning to get one for years but never “find the time.” I wish you all the best on this year away from teaching and home with your family.
Hi Sarah! Thank you so much for your honest and thoughtful comment. It is SO hard to give something up that we love – even if we are doing it for the best interest of our children and family. You are absolutely not alone in your decision and I hope that you are able to find freedom from the guilt and enjoy every glorious moment of extra time with your family and daughter. And I especially hope that your massage is absolutely perfect -it is certainly well-deserved! Best wishes for a wonderful year outside of the classroom.
You will enjoy every moment with your daughter more because you will not be struggling so much to fit everything in. The years of leave I spent with my children when they were small was the best decision I ever made. It made me a better person in all areas of my life, including teaching when I returned to the classroom. All the best to someone who gives so much to others.
Hi Tricia and thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I have felt a lightness in my step for the past month knowing that there would be fewer commitments and obligations pulling me away from Dessa and our home. This break is exactly what I needed to reset and enjoy my time with Dessa while she is still little. Looking forward to a wonderful year and I can’t wait to see what lies ahead.
Blessings on your new journey! May it be filled with light and love!
Thank you so much, Daisy!
Thank you for sharing your story. Taking a deep breath as I am preparing to go back to school while leaving my daughter home with family. Hoping to be able to put myself in a position to do the same thing as you in a few years!
Thank you, Chrissy. I wish you a wonderful school year free of any guilt or regret. We are all just trying to do the very best we can for our families and our students and I know you will do an amazing job with both!
It has been a true pleasure learning from you as you post about your classroom! I find many similarities in your journey and my own including teaching K at a Catholic School, Tieks and Stitch Fix as well as looking at how to take our family of 2 to a family of 3 (haven’t made that jump yet!). Thank you for sharing your journey and for all of your inspiration! I wish you all the best!! Enjoy this wonderful family time!!!
Thank you so much Amy! I’m so honored to hear that I have been an inspiration. I was very nervous about becoming a mom and fearful of all the changes it would bring into my life. When you are ready to take the step, I can assure you that you will love every single moment. Have a wonderful school year!
I took 7 years off while my kids were little, worked half time in a job share during their tweens, and just as they started getting ready to go to college, I returned full time. My kids are amazing, and I feel so blessed to have had the time to be present in their lives, cook some healthy meals, help with homework, join in their laughter, and dry their tears. God bless you and your family!
The fact that I had a job share last year was my only saving grace. I don’t think I would have been able to juggle anything at all if it had been a full-time teaching position. I too feel very blessed to have the opportunity to give Dessa more of my love and attention and watch her grow a bit more each day. Thank you for the encouragement!
Enjoy your time it passes fast! We will enjoying following your house re new ty! Hope you enjoyed the zoo!
Thank you so much, and yes the zoo was wonderful!
I echo the sentiments of those who say that you will not regret your decision. I taught for 16 years before taking a break to stay home with my daughter. I wanted to be able to give her all of the time and attention that I had given to my young students for so many years. I look back on those years at home as the happiest of times. I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to spend that special time with my daughter. I wish you all of the best. Enjoy your baby girl!
Thank you so much for your sweet words of encouragement! I am so excited to have this year at home with her and I am already enjoying the extra adventures and snuggles that we have together.
I love this post and I am really glad you shared it with everyone. I usually only follow you on Crazy Together, but I saw the link to this post, and I was really intrigued about what you had decided to do. I commend you for taking such a big, brave step in figuring out where you want your focus to be this coming year. I’ve been struggling with juggling a lot, as well, and some days I feel like there is no way to balance it all in the waking hours we have. It’s exhausting and overwhelming. (I constantly think back to the Twilight books — don’t judge — and how their vampires don’t sleep, ever. And about how much they each get done every day because they get a whole, like, 4-8 extra hours of time while the rest of the world is sleeping. #thedream. LOL.) I know how scary it can be to leave the security of a paying job and a career that you’ve spent years building, even just for a short amount of time, and the courage it takes to strike out and try something new. I hope this coming year brings you answers, happiness, and, most importantly, the quality and quantity time you’ve wanted with your husband and daughter in your lovely new house. All the best to you!! xoxo
I’m on the other side of slowing down work to be present woth my kiddo and I can promise you that it was one of the best decisions our family ever made. When my daughter was born I went from full time to working about 10 hours/week in early intervention which left me five days in row at home and two day work “week.” I loved it. My daughter and I got to do so many things together everyday. I went back to work full time in stages- first by starting to adjunct and then by going back to grad school and then finally taking the leap back to full time a little over a year ago. The transition has been a little rough on everyone. I love my work but I am so thankful I didn’t have to balance full time work with a baby.
Good for you! Years ago, after having my first son, I was able to teach part time and my mother kept him. My second son was born near the end of the second year, and I just couldn’t go back. My principal told me she had never known of a teacher to regret staying home with her children, but knew a lot that wished they could go back. When my youngest started Kindergarten, I went back too, at the neighborhood school. Ours is a career that can be picked up at any time. Family first!
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Good for you. It goes so fast. Enjoy every moment with your daughter and husband. God has a plan for you and enjoy discovering His plan.
I actually just stumbled upon your post from 2016 about All Saints Day. I teach preschool and am looking for something meaningful to do with my littles. Do you have any ideas. Many of the things posted are out of date. Books not available nor the dolls. I really appreciate any advice. God Bless
I am really glad for sharing this blog with everyone. Forget about the past and move on maria. It’s really a wonderful time for you to spend with your family as well as your precious daughter. Mainly the decision you had taken is absolutely right I wish you all the best. Take care Maria and enjoy with your little cute daughter.
Absolutely beautiful. A Happy Life is a balanced Life ! I am considering my own way forward in pursuit of that balance especially as a teacher. Sometimes it feels like a one or the other choice. Thank you for showing that there can actually be a happy medium!! Best Wishes !1